Why don't you just put it on a credit card?

Several people have asked us why we are saving for this, rather than just going into debt to get it done. We have asked ourselves the same question, and have looked at it from several angles. There are a lot of factors that come into play for a decision like this, and we really have tried to take as many of them into account as we can. I'll review a couple of them here.

The first reason is simple math. Right now, we are both working, and saving every extra penny that we can afford to save. To take out a $20,000-$25,000 loan would require a monthly payment close to or more than what we are currently able to save. Now, if we were to get that loan, and Heather were to get pregnant, we would clearly lose out on some income from her. She would not be having a baby and then coming back to work the next day. My income alone, unfortunately, is not enough to pay our expenses as they currently are. This includes such things as mortgage, student loans, food, gas, insurance... you know, bills. If we were to have her out of work for even a short time, and us with a large extra monthly payment to make, we would not be able to make ends meet at all. Also, as parents everywhere are happy to point out to us, expenses do not decrease after having a child. We would have hospital and doctor bills for the delivery and checkups. There would be expenses for baby clothing, diapers, bottles, medication.... the list goes on and on. Trust me, we hear about it all the time from parents that want us to know just how "lucky" we are to not have children yet. Anyhow, I digress. Due to our delightful (NOT) government, we wouldn't even qualify for anything to try to offset that difference for a little while. This is because I am in the unfortunate position of not earning enough myself to make ends meet, but I make more than the government's maximum threshold for assistance.


The next reason is one of personal preference and mindset. Heather has already written about the rounds of treatment that failed. Let's be honest with ourselves for a second, and admit that if we save $20,000, and go through 6 or so more months of increasingly expensive treatments, we have to keep in mind that it still might not work. In the past, when treatments didn't work, it was devastating. It's really hard to deal with on an emotional level. To add to that a several hundred dollar a month payment as a monthly reminder of what we can't have would be extremely disheartening. We would be paying on it for years, and wouldn't be able to move forward with other plans or anything like that. We have both put dreams on hold to try to make way for the biggest dream of all. To us, having a child is worth working at jobs that aren't always ideal. It is worth me not continuing my pursuit of a graduate degree or a teaching certificate or anything like that. It is worth not having toys like 4-wheelers, a fancy car, cool electronics, or other things like that. It is worth putting off things that we have always wanted to do, like cruises, travel to other countries, and all sorts of things that people we know take for granted because they don't have the same troubles as us. But I prefer to work towards a goal, rather than have to work to pay for an already failed attempt at reaching that goal. We can also earn interest on what we have saved while we continue to save, rather than paying interest on a large sum that we had to borrow.

I hope that this helps to make a little bit of sense out of why we are approaching this the way that we are. We wish we could have had a baby 4 years ago. We wish that we could have had more than one. Believe me when I say that we wish we could get pregnant tomorrow and put all of this behind us. However, we have to approach this with patience. We operate with the attitude that if it can happen, we will make it happen. So, we don't have to bankrupt ourselves doing it just yet. I'm not yet 30, and Heather is a few years younger than me. We have a bit of time. It's really hard to keep that perspective, but if we don't, it gets very discouraging. Perhaps if we save to our goal, and the Doctor thinks that we are really close, we might consider going into debt at that point to try for a few more months. Those are the kinds of things that only time will tell, and we'll cross those bridges when we get to them. In the meanwhile, having a goal set and seeing progress being made towards that goal is enough to keep our spirits up most of the time. Now that we have something to reach for, even if it is a long way off, it fuels our hope and our strength. It no longer feels like a black void of not knowing.